Pride
I have had a breakdown. I am fine now but some serious stuff has been happening with me. I also know the main reason for all this. Look at the word that starts all the previous sentences and there you go, "I". There is a serious pride issue going on with me. The house has to be perfectly clean because I want people to think highly of me and say "Wow, she has a clean house and she did it all herself". Even with the kids help I would have claimed it all for myself. I grew up with a mom who was constantly saying that the job I did wasn't good enough and that "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself". Now, my mom loved me and was proud of me but she was also a perfectionist and there was always something else to do to make the house and yard look better. She was and is still a prideful woman. I realized this more when I was at her house this past weekend. So, I guess, the point is that I come by it through nurturing. I am working on getting better. Funny that sounded like I "have something". Beth Keck made a point in the last comments about having a peaceful household. I want that. I also want it clean, and tidy and the baseboards clean and no cobwebs and and and.... See, it is almost a sickness. Hi, my name is Liz, and I'm a ...... perfectionist.
All that was to tell you the most recent report on the house cleaning stuff. I had a list about as long as my arm. As the days went by I marked more and more off to not do because of time. I did not like that at all. Then on Monday, I lost it. Alan and I talk on instant messanger some days and man, I went off. Poor man. He, thankfully, came to my rescue and talked me back from the ledge. He is a good man. Sometimes I am amazed that he deals with me and my idiosyncracies. I am glad that he loves me. Of my list what I have "done" is the living room and kitchen are in good shape. That is it. But it is something, right?
posted by Liz at 8:21 AM - permalink - -
spiritual
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gardening
books i like
Here are some books I suggests if you are looking
to homeschool or just for information. I gleaned a lot from them. Our
church gets credit if you buy through these links.
In
their Own Way
by Thomas Armstrong
Seven
Times Smarter
by Laurel Schmidt
How
to Talk So Kids Can Learn
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Teen Proofing
by John Rosemond
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