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go here to buy my stock photography Alan Creech
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aaron klinefelter
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   A part of this festival is music - there's a music tent where bands play. Tonight I sort of dropped a couple of the kids off volunteering at a couple of game tents, got a beer and wandered over to the music tent. I had been hearing this voice singing - kind of an acoustic deal with an alternative type sound - fine. I wanted to check it out so I walked up and standing on the stage playing base with this other guy who was singing was - uuuhh, yeah, I think that's him - Peter Buck from REM. In Lexington. In a tent on a little stage. Yes, it was him. I ran into a guy I know, Mark, whom I always run into at concerts or liquor stores, and he said, sure enough, yeah. And the other guy was Scott McCaughey, who also plays with Robyn Hitchcock (you gotta know who that is) and has a band called The Minus 5. And what did I NOT bring!? For the first time in a while I just didn't feel like lugging my camera around - WHAT THE!? I was kicking myself. So these photos aren't mine but trust me, I could've taken them and much closer. Then another guy came on stage to play with them - apparently this was Mark Olson from the group the Jayhawks. I've heard of the Jayhawks but hadn't really known who Mark was. They were really good. It was like a little present being able to sit there and hear these guys. Then Mark played a set on his own - very good stuff. I think I'm going to be buying some music soon. Of course I'm a chicken and awkward in situations like that so I didn't go up and talk to them. They were just hangin' out, walkin' around. Oh well. Amazing. THING 2 - Actually more like 1 because this started happening before the music, even the night before, continued through it and after. I found myself looking at people walking around this thing, talking, laughing, drinking, smoking, whatever they were doing. I watch people. So, I was watching and thinking about this church we were at, and this Church I am going back into (for the moment) and I began judging these people. I thought about nominal Catholic Christianity, people who have no real spiritual lives, who go through cultural motions - blah blah blah. You get it. Maybe you've done this before yourself?? And it could have been a bunch of Methodists I suppose. And a bunch of them probably were - this thing is not a church members thing - it's a city-wide deal, thousands of people attend this festival. So, I realized that I was having this reaction and was a little disgusted with myself. Who am I anyway? No better. No different. God loves all these people! What the hell!? Ridiculous. Mostly that was last night. Tonight was a bit different - the experience expanded and I was aware that it was doing so. I was walking around inside it like a dream all night tonight. It seemed like I was observing but that also I was one of these people. I thought, as I watched and listened to the music, and ate, and drank - about the Church again, some of the negative things (for me). I thought of power and fear and condemnation and putting people's minds and hearts in a vice with "laws" that make being human a second-death sentence. It made me drift into the lives of these people around me again, wanting to be one of them, to live life without a claw on my brain. It made feelings rise up inside me - of hate for religion that sucks life out of people whom God loves with abandon - of a deep desire not to be like that. And I'm not talking about hating the Truth or anything about there not being legitimate "rules" that we should live by (for the right reasons, understanding them properly), so shut all that right up. It was several things at once. It was sad, very melancholy. It was refreshing, a "breathing fresh air" kind of feeling. It was a little bit confusing. And it turned into, at a couple of points, a feeling of fear, of hoping I'm going in the right direction with my life, of regret for things I haven't done, want to do, and may never be able to do. This was an interesting couple of days. I think it may be significant somehow. I'm not sure totally how yet. My God please, please give me wisdom and help me discern the way. I'm asking YOU to help me. I guess I'm saying, once again, O God, come to my assistance! technorati tags > church, religion, judgmentalism, music, peter buck, scott mccaughey, mark olson Labels: church, music, personal :::
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three quotes |:: "Then, if we cannot as yet think alike in all things, at least we may love alike. Herein we cannot possibly do amiss." "Keep your eyes on the crucifix, for Jesus without the cross
is a man without a mission, and the cross without Jesus
is a burden without a reliever." "...I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be
completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self."
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