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Alan Creech
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aaron klinefelter
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August 07, 2006
> 2:26 PM
being the monster  A while back I developed an analogy to describe something - in my own internal monologue. I've said it out loud before in conversations, when it has been relevant, but mostly I just think this is true to some extent or another. I think Bryan was talking about fear and how it shapes our personalities, and it made me think - about general things, people, and myself.Here's the theory: If you're the monster, you have nothing to fear. Think about a horror movie, a "monster movie" - especially something like our friend the Werewolf over there. He's a monster but most of the time nobody knows it. He walks the same streets you do, shops at the same stores, etc. But he is the monster. He can walk through the woods at night and not be afraid - because he's the freakin' monster, what does he have to be afraid of!? He knows he has the power over every threat, every bully, everyone around him. So, in a sense, the monster can walk with a certain level of security because he has control. This is what some of us do, as people, I think. We have developed what may partly be a subconscious defense mechanism to deal with being afraid of being hurt or controlled. We become the monster. This will shut out the fear, the insecurity, and make us feel powerful and in control. You can walk through a dark, moldy old creepy house and have no sensation of fear - because you know, you are the one to be feared. It's psychological warfare. I see this in myself at times. I become the monster. I overpower. I puff up like a blowfish to show my size. I stand up and raise my arms like a Grizzly Bear to let someone know, "look, I'll bite your head off, so back it down." I see it in others. There are people who live their entire lives like this, at every moment. They control all things. They are never afraid. They never feel small. It's an illusion. Sickeningly enough, this seems to be, in some cases, a common trait among serial killers. They have become the mighty Werewolf, always to be feared. Perhaps this works in them to overcome being made so small for so many years. Hard to say. How's it feel being compared to a serial killer? Not so good. How is something like that fixed in us? Well, I don't fully know but I think a good start is to be able to at least very slightly, see objectively that we are this way. If we can learn to see ourselves as we really are, learn how God sees us, how others see us, this would be a good start. If we can learn not to defend everything about ourselves simply because it is us and we're familiar with it, that would also be a great start. I think of the Werewolf, in those old movies. They are usually sad characters. Yes, they are the monster, but eventually they realize that they are and try to do something in order to be healed. In the movies it usually doesn't work until they get shot with a silver bullet. I don't believe we have that little hope. I believe, even though we're infected with something terrible, we have the absolute antidote living inside us. Jesus didn't come to make us merely pine for the sweet by and by. HE came to fix us, to raise us up with Him, to heal the monster. Give us Grace to bend and accept the healing Father. technorati tags > anger, psychology, fear, personality, relationships 0 Comments:| permalink | e-mail me | 
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