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aaron klinefelter
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January 14, 2006
> 7:29 PM
fraud I feel like a fraud. I feel sometimes like somehow I've perpetrated a fraud on those who think they know who I am and what I'm about and what our church is about. Sometimes I even feel bad about it. I feel as if I've put a persona "out there" that isn't accurate - that isn't honest. Maybe I have and maybe I haven't, but it feels that way nonetheless. If you know me at all, on any significant level, you know this: I value honesty nearly above anything else. I value it in others and I value it in myself. I want to portray an honest, real image of who I am and what I think and believe to those around me. I don't want to be mistaken. I don't like the thought of being perceived as something other than who and what I really am. When I feel in some way that may not be so, it bothers me. In the arena of church and things ecclesiastical I think about this probably more than other places because this is where I and the community that I lead could be often misunderstood, misinterpreted, etc. People may think we are a "bigger deal" than what we really are. Ooo, that Vine & Branches, they got mentioned in a couple of books - ooooo. Yeah, it's pretty cool that somebody thought something of what we are to mention us in their book, but what does that mean? Well, partly I think it means some people are seeing some things that have been happening for a while that have, until now, remained "under the radar." That's good. It 's also sort of amazing that someone far away, in New Zealand or California, would for some reason notice this little tiny group of people who meet in this living room in Kentucky, who wonder why sometimes and who's pastor every so often really wonders if there is a point to it. It's kind of amazing really. Seriously, have a talked some kind of show up on my blog or in writing that doesn't really exist in reality? I hope I haven't. I know I write my dreams and my vision of how things can and should be often. I know I talk about what we think and talk about and what we want to be often. I do that. Does that mean I skirt the issue of who we actually are? Maybe I do. Maybe I don't want to think about who we actually are too much. It might make me not want to move on to who we can be. So, yeah, I feel like this fraud sometimes. technorati tags > honesty, emerging church, church, blogging Labels: blogging, church, emerging church 0 Comments:| permalink | e-mail me | 
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