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Alan Creech
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September 08, 2005
> 10:05 AM
more on the imperfections of beginners Continuing on with some more choice quotes from Dark Night of the Soul. I don't know why, but I am fairly amazed at how similar the "imperfections" he describes from the context of a 16th century Spanish monastery are to what we see today in the church. Another thing, if you don't see yourself in some of this, the way you are now or perhaps the way you were, maybe you need to throw some water on your face and take another look. Many such persons desire to be the favourites of their confessors and to become intimate with them, as a result of which there beset them continual occasions of envy and disquiet. They are too much embarrassed to confess their sins nakedly, lest their confessors think less of them...I've actually seen, in myself and in others, the business about being "over-sad" about imperfections and faults more than making little of them. At certain points in the spiritual life of many it seems to be fashionable to be very dramatic about how terrible they are - to blow out of all proportion the weight of their sins. This is usually accompanied by a lingering guilt in the gut that can't be shaken. Some of this is more about being disappointed that one is not yet perfect than anything else, as John points out. Therefore, it springs from pride, in the same way that thinking one is perfect when one is not does. The impatience with the process of transformation is rampant - I mean at a ridiculous level. I would bet more now than 400 years ago in that place. If we have to wait a few years for something and we see no tangible progress, we throw our hands up, cry our eyes dry and then give up and allow anger to set it. Let me be slightly what may sound insensitive for a moment and say, where do we get off? I mean, seriously, who is it that we think we are getting pissed and impatient with God? Wow. I'll go out on a limb here and say that the problem, the fault, the imperfection, the evil, the lack of knowledge about the big picture, and anything else is pretty much in our court. God would be the infinite loving One who is constantly trying to get through to us in any way He can without forcing Himself and breaking down our freedom. We don't like that though. Calming down now. Yes, I still have imperfections. God help me if I said I didn't. God help me anyway, please. I can also see ways that I used to be that I am not now, or not as much anyway. I'm not sure we should always be looking very hard for this progress and hanging laurels on our points of change. It happens (or not) whether we see it or not. If you are waiting for some breakthrough, some point of measurable change to happen - if you think nothing's really happening unless you see that thing change, please sit still for a minute and consider shifting your expectations. Don't look for that thing. Don't focus on that one thing you can't seem to shake. Don't focus on time being an important factor in this mess. Rest, love God as you can, allow Him to Love you (more importantly) through the community of faith as well as internally (you may feel little of this for a while). I certainly don't have specific answers for everyone and never will. I'm just talking about general things. These things won't fully be learned or grasped through a blog or even by reading John of the Cross. It's an up-close and personal thing. Ramble, ramble. Grace and Peace to you. 0 Comments:| permalink | e-mail me | 
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